Dear God,

I hate the process. I should’ve listened to you when you told me don’t get into it. I didn’t listen. You wanted to protect me from this but I wanted to experience things for myself. I regret it. I continue to put a smile on my face but I wish I can go back. Go back and do it all over again. This time I’ll listen to you. I reassure myself thousands of times that you’ll carry me through this because pain gives birth to purpose. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to go through the process to get where you want me to be. I don’t have all the answers but I have to trust your intentions. I know you said all things work together for my good and most days I fail to take you at your word. This process I’m going through I hate it because some days feel easier than others. Every minute I’m being processed feels like eternity.

Love Des,

12/1/21